How do I tell my partner I don’t like the way he/she makes love to me?

First of all, don’t phrase it like that. The worst thing to do is to be negative. Sure, if your partner is asking you to do something that might harm you or make you extremely uncomfortable, it’s important to say no. And if you are on the receiving end of that “no”, be gracious and understand your lover’s needs. Saying “no”, by the way, is not being negative. It is simply a way of setting boundaries in which an exciting love life can flourish.

But beyond the extremes, it is better to say what you need, taking a positive approach. Men are particularly sensitive to rejection – so ladies, take it easy on them. Start by affirming what it is you like that he does, then tell him what you need – not what he does wrong.

The phrase “making love” means just that. You are finding ways to express your love physically. Put the focus on your partner. Imagine this: each of you is going out of your way to please the other. You are both focusing on the wants and desires of your mate instead of what you can get out of it. Both of you totally focused on pleasing each other – now that’s the very definition of a Sizzling Marriage!

Bottom line: Focus on your partner, but at the same time, be honest about your needs.