How to connect

Bruce is a senior manager at an advertising agency. “It seems like I’m always putting out fires,” he said. “Our creatives have big egos that are easily crushed and many of our clients want their projects done ‘yesterday’. By the time I get home, I’m wiped. All I want to do is plop down on the couch and watch TV.”

His wife, Tami, owns a daycare business. “I started this business so I could have my kids with me while I worked. That’s great, but between myself and my one employee, we look after as many as 15 high-energy children.

“Don’t get me wrong, I love the work. But I don’t have much oomph at the end of the day. And when I get home, my children still need my attention. Bruce always helps with dinner, but after we get the kids to bed, neither of us talks much.”

Good conversation is becoming a lost art, especially in today’s hectic lifestyle. (There are ways to slow down and make things less hectic, but that will be another post.)

So what should Bruce and Tami do? How are they supposed to connect when all they really want is some alone time?

We very much believe in the value of having time to yourself. Not every spare moment has to be had together. But a strong marriage needs connection.

The sad truth is, many couples start taking each other for granted, acting more like roommates than lovers.

That’s particularly sad when the answer is so simple.

Alone together

Sometimes, just being together in the same room, but each doing your own thing can be a connection – even if you’re not talking.

Casual touch

Good communication doesn’t always have to involve a lot of talking. Simple things like holding hands while watching a movie, or laughing together at a romantic comedy will help.

Ask

A friendly “How was your day” conversation over a hot cup of tea. Show interest in your’s partners life outside the home.

Listen

When one of you really needs to talk about a rough day, it’s time to turn off the TV, put down the iPhone, and look at your partner. It’s important to listen, really listen.

And guys, when she’s talking about her worries, don’t always try to solve them for her… sometimes she just wants to be heard.

Just remember, you’re not roommates, you’re lovers and best friends. Sometimes the simplest things can nurture that.